The weather is beautiful today and I finally feel as though my mood is lifting. Whatever crappy feeling I’ve had over the last few weeks is shifting more and more towards happiness, and I feel so much better because of it.
I think that when we’re angry or hurt or confused it’s quite easy just to ignore any attempts that the other party tries to take to put things right. It’s a lot easier to just stay angry than it is to sit down and accept what they’re trying to tell you, especially when you’re not sure if it’s something you’re going to want to hear.
I’ve been like that for the last few days, I’ve been difficult and moody and I’ve just wanted to sulk in my own misery and I’ve taken every little thing the way that I’ve wanted to interpret it. I’m not saying that I’ve been wrong, but I’ve not exactly made things easy either. So yesterday morning, when we sat down and talked everything out, I asked the exact same questions I’d been asking for weeks, and I got the exact same answers I’ve been listening to for weeks, but this time, the answers didn’t seem as hard to listen to, and it finally felt as though this whole scenario was over.
I know that this might not be the end of it all and things might become awkward or distant again, in fact they most definitely will, because when you’re planning on spending your whole life with someone, you have to accept the good with the bad and recognise that not every day will be full of laughter and sheer happiness. That there will be tough times and nasty arguments and nights spent not talking and other nights spent only talking about the trivial things like money and time rather than cuddling and watching movies. I didn’t come into this relationship naive, because I know just how hard you have to work to keep it all alive. But I did become naive whilst I was in it, and I believed that every single day would be like those first few months, because we just seemed to fit so perfectly.
And we still do, now more than ever. We just needed to give the puzzle pieces abit of a shuffle and adjust the picture a little.
Because it’s not always rainbows and butterflies, it’s compromise that moves us a long….
The diary of everything and anything. 