a new type of normal

I’m so drained today.

I’ve yawned all morning at work and now that I’m home I just want to nap. I haven’t been this tired since I was pregnant.

I know I’m not, I 1000% know that I’m not. But my mind did wander earlier and for a brief second it did cross it, I think it’s just because I realised that I’d be 10 weeks today, and I panicked that maybe it hadn’t worked. 

It’s so unbelievably stupid of me though because I know that it has. I’ve bled, I’ve had cramps, I’ve cried, I’ve been a hormonal mess and I’ve gone through this process for 4 weeks now, which is long enough to know that it without a doubt has worked. 

Apparently it can take between 6 weeks and 6 months for my body to get back to normal, which means at the very least, I have still two weeks to go. But I don’t know what normal is anymore. I’m on new contraception which will make it even harder for me to recognise when I feel like myself again because of what it’s doing to my hormones and my periods, so I guess I’m just waiting to feel a new type of normal. A new me. 

It’s ironic that this new me will coincide with the new year.  I just hope that whoever she is, she’s happy, focussed and determined to make next year a year to remember. 

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