24/10/16

Every single day is the same.
I wake up, I lie in bed staring at the ceiling for 6 hours, then I eat and then I’ll sleep. 
Obviously there’s little bits in between where I’ll have conversations and go on my phone, but that’s pretty much the just of my day for the last few weeks. 
Having all this time off work is tough. I love my job (sometimes) but not being there has made me realise just how much I enjoy it, and I just how out of the loop I feel by being at home. I don’t go back for another 10 days and I’ve already had 13 off, I’m lucky that they’ve been so understanding but I’m so fed up of doing absolutely nothing. 
I can’t believe I’m only two days away from what felt like months away when I was first given a date. The morning sickness has hit me hard over the last few days and now it feels more real than ever. It feels like my body is screaming at me not to do it. Not to go ahead. It’s giving me one final reminder of what’s inside me and the job I have. To protect it. To love it and let it grow. 

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