I need to write, because if I don’t write, I think I’ll go crazy.

I’ve always wanted to be a writer, for as long as I can remember, but I’ve never known what to write about.
Until now.

Precisely three and a half days ago, on Friday the 7th of October, at 4.55pm in the evening, I found out that I was pregnant.

I’d known for a while, well no- I’d thought it for a while, after missing two periods, having aching boobs and eating the entire contents of the fridge without a second thought.

But I’d taken countless amounts of tests and low and behold, all of them, until Friday were negative. I think I was only taking the test so I could see yet another negative result and set my mind at ease for another day until my period came. I’d experienced some cramping and some spotting so I was convinced that either I was pregnant, or my period was just around the corner, and seeing as all of my tests were saying I wasn’t, I thought it was the latter.

So now, here I am. 1-2 weeks pregnant (according to my 4th positive test – a digital clear blue, just because seeing two lines wasn’t enough – I needed to see the word ‘pregnant’ in writing) and I’m absolutely shitting myself. I have no reason to be scared, that’s the thing. Well initially I did, because I’ve been on a pretty strong drug called accutane (google it) for my adult acne, and under NO CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER , was I allowed to get pregnant. They made me sign a proper contract pledging that I would use two forms of contraception (I didn’t) report to them immediately if I thought there was a chance I could be pregnant (I didn’t) and above all, not get pregnant (I can’t put I didn’t here because I can’t stand double negatives, but you get he jist). So yeah, I fully, well and truly fucked up. But anyway, I stopped taking the drug six weeks ago and the doctor confirmed for me yesterday that the pregnancy will be absolutely fine to continue with and she sees no risk whatsoever. So yay we’re having a baby!

I say ‘we’ as it feels as though my entire family, and my partners family are having this baby with us. It’s literally the perfect set up. I already have a daughter from a previous relationship, and my fiancé and her get on amazingly well. My family love my partner, his family love me, and now we’re having a baby. Hurray for everyone.


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